


My Everything

by trashcocoon



Category: Free!
Genre: Crushes, Falling In Love, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-27 14:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5051305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashcocoon/pseuds/trashcocoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin thought of the heart-stopping moment and of Haru’s quiet, sure hands and wondered if this was what it felt like to fall in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Everything

**Author's Note:**

> No this has nothing to do with Ariana Grande. And yes, this is going to be cheesy as hell.

Rin had always thought romance novels were stupid. Gou loved them, and hardly a day went by when you couldn’t find her squealing over some new pair of star-crossed lovers. She’d leave a little trail of them, bent and broken paperbacks that littered to kitchen and living room like dead leaves Rin would pick them up when no one was looking and flip through them until he found the part where the girl realized she was in love with the guy, and always, every single time, he was disappointed. There wasn’t a single one of those books where the girl doesn’t say at least once, “He’s my everything.” That’s not how love works. Hell, that’s not how life works. How could one person fulfill your every need, be not only the sun that warms your back but also the river that quenches you thirst? That was stupid. Romance novels were stupid. So Rin would throw them down in disgust and stomp away, annoyed with himself for picking them up in the first place. And yet, every time Gou’s back was turned, he found himself looking for a boy who wasn’t someone’s everything.  
************************  
Rin hesitated a moment before knocking on Haru’s door. He’d only done this a few times, and every time he hadn’t been able to push his second thoughts away. Was this overstepping his bounds? Was this okay? Did Haru want to see him at all? The boy was so fazed out all the time it felt like the two of them were at the bottom of the ocean and Haru was floating, unbidden, towards the white sun above, instead of how it actually was, with him always plunging straight into the water, as far from the land life as possible. That was Haru, all right. Keeping as great a mental distance as he could from everyone no matter the physical proximity; content, it would seem, to be whole worlds away. Rin could remember the time when he, to, was distant like that- only for him it had been a choice, whereas Haru was really just like that. It was like everyone in the world had been born with anchors, Rin mused as Haru opened the door to let him in, and while most could hoist theirs up at will, Haru had simply been born without one. Rin always tried not to think about the time when he had stubbornly held his own anchor above water even though his arms hurt like hell, that time before the relay when he had been more bitter than the tea Haru was pouring him now. Rin preferred to focus on this, the present, when he could watch Haru through the steam from his own teacup without having to remember to sharpen in eyes in hostility he’d never really felt. There was one pre-relay memory that Rin occasionally let his mind drift over, however; mainly in that warm, soft time just before he fell asleep at night. Warm and soft, just like the memory of Haru’s waist and legs between his own. Clear yet befuddling like Haru’s waterfall eyes when they’d widened in surprise at the tears falling from Rin’s own. Haru was quiet now, watching Rin from across the table, as quiet as he’d been then when he’d accepted Rin back into his life as a friend- a real friend. Haru opening the door to him had only been the first step- just like he was making conversation now, Rin had had to reacquaint himself with both Haru and friendship. Phone calls and texts instead of emails. Music out of a stereo for everyone to listen to instead of headphones. Just-for-fun races against friends instead of solitary lengths that never felt good enough no matter how good they were.  
“What do you want to do after you graduate, Rin?” Haru asked suddenly.  
Rin raised his eyebrows in surprise- not because it was out of context (he’d been talking about a fundraiser the team was having)- Haru did that all the time. But Haru seemed pretty enthusiastic about that topic. Whenever anyone asked him (and Rin had asked a few times), he either got that pissy look on his face and started walking/walking faster, or he said, “Free,” and jumped into the nearest body of water. Not to mention, Haru knew the answer to that. Everyone knew the answer to that. “Well, you know,” he said, shifting around on his zabuton. “Be an Olympic swimmer.”  
“Right,” said Haru, looking away, his tone as unrevealing as ever. “Just making sure.”  
“Why do you ask?” asked Rin. Haru’s cheeks turned slightly pink.  
“Nothing. Just- I’ll miss you.”  
For a crazy, heart-stopping moment, Rin doubted himself. There was something about Haru that just made Rin unsure about everything- but how could he be unsure about something he’d known his whole life? This was accompanied by an equally heart-stopping urge- in that little slip from reality, Rin suddenly wanted to say, “Actually, I just want to be with you.” Then the moment passed, leaving him with a buzzing sensation in his head and a feeling of slight horror.  
Rin knew the proper response would be to ask Haru what he planned to do, but he didn’t want to have to hold Haru away from the sink again, and besides, the other boy had already stood up to bring their teacups back into the kitchen.  
Rin thought of the heart-stopping moment and of Haru’s quiet, sure hands and wondered if this was what it felt like to fall in love.  
**************************  
Rin gasped as his head broke the surface of the water and his hand slapped the pool wall.  
“Rin-chan wins!” shouted Nagisa.  
Rin grinned at Haru, flushed with victory, his chest heaving and his hair dripping in his face. “Ha! About time. You won the last three.”  
Haru was silent as his eyes roamed over Rin and then shrugged quickly and looked away as their eyes met. He hoisted himself out of the water without even removing his goggles first and walked away quickly.  
“Nice one, Rin-san,” said Ryugazaki, his normally pompous tone laced with respect as he splashed his feet around in the water a little ways down. “Beautiful turn around.” Rin liked the guy enough, but he honestly wasn’t sure if they’d ever get past the bit of awkwardness that came with his basically replacing Rin on the team. Rin wished he could communicate that he felt no animosity whatsoever, but he wasn’t sure how.  
“Yeah, Rin. If I wasn’t so tired id want to race you too!” smiled Makoto, interrupting his train of thought. As always, Rin found himself fixated on Makoto’s eyes. Sad eyes, he always thought to himself. Sad from what? A lifetime of doing everything for others and nothing for himself? It seemed to Rin that all of Makoto’s kindness had built up on the corners of his green eyes and pulled them down. Sad eyes.  
“Not that it wasn’t close,” Nagisa added quickly, in a raised voice. “Haru-chan, you almost had him again!”  
Not even a grunt in response. Haru just stopped drying his hair, and with a swift, almost shy glance Rin’s way and then back again, let the towel rest on his head, draping his face in pink evening shadows. As the others crowded around Rin, Haru retreated to the locker room and Rin felt a surge of frustration. How was it that he could hold the whole world captive with a flash of his teeth, and yet Haru regarded him with the precise amount of interest he showed a dead grasshopper? Not a smile, not a frown, not even a “gosh darn, he beat me”. Just that same glance, glance away as always. How could he be so unfeeling towards Rin when Rin himself felt a thousand different jolts every time their eyes met?  
**********************  
Gradually it became that Haru was all Rin could think about. He’d be talking to Ai, and the color of his hair would remind him of this hoodie Haru wore one time. Or he’d be buying a soda from the vending machine and find himself wondering what Haru’s favorite kind of soda was, or if he even like soda at all. The only escape from all these thoughts was, funnily enough, the water. It was strange that that with which Haru seemed to share the strongest bond would do such a good job of distracting Rin from him. It was only when he filled his mind with instructions for the next lap that Rin was able to think of something other than feathery black hair and a steady blue gaze. At three am he’d find himself awoken by the thought of a gently sloping nose and run down to the pool to do lengths until it was time for class. The second school finished, Rin could be found plunging into the water to wash seven hours of imagining a tan, graceful neck from his mind.  
Maybe romance novels aren’t so stupid after all, Rin thought ruefully, climbing out of the pool late one Friday night. It would appear that he’d found a boy who’d become his everything.  
***********************  
The sound of his and Sousuke’s heavy breathing filed Rin’s ears as the streetlights in the park turned on. Suddenly his vision began flickering light, then dark, then light again as they ran underneath. Sousuke stopped suddenly, hunched over with one hand on his knee and the other on his shoulder. He grimaced, moving his shoulder around slowly and shooting Rin a guilty look.  
“Hey Rin, I think I’d better go back,” he said, looking up at Rin apologetically.  
“Oh God, yeah. I’m so sorry,” said Rin, horrified that he could’ve forgotten. He was saddened when he thought about how even the simple movement of pumping his arms when he was running could cause his normally strong friend so much pain. “Go ahead on home, I’m just gonna run a little more. I’m so sorry, I- I just keep forgetting.”  
Sousuke nodded. “It’s okay. I forget sometimes, too.” Sad eyes. Sousuke’s eyes are just a teal version of Makoto’s, was what Rin was thinking as he watched his friend turn around to head back to the dorms for the evening.  
Rin checked his watch- eight fifteen. Curfew in forty-five minutes. Haru doesn’t have a curfew, Rin thought, unbidden. He shook his head, disgusted with himself, and set off again into the night. Soon enough, he found himself at the beach. Not surprising, considering the color of Haru’s eyes. Considering the curve of his lips, so like the crest of the waves. Considering his fingers, fleeting and graceful like- Rin shook himself again, hiked up his track pants, and waded into the frothy shallows. He closed his eyes and splashed some of the water onto his face to wash away the sweat. If he had to pick a salty liquid to be drenched in, ocean water won any day. He turned to step out of the water, and who should be there but the object of his obsession.  
“Haru,” Rin said, eyes widening in surprise. “What are you doing here?”  
“Running,” said Haru, hiking up his own pants and wading into the water to join Rin. His skin was veiled in a think sheen of sweat, and he bent down to wash it off in the waves. The water really does love him, thought Rin, watching it drip off his hair and face. Haru stepped closer to him.  
“You came to the ocean,” he said.  
“Yeah, I-“ Rin stopped just short of saying, ‘I was thinking about you’. “I just never really come here at night. I wanted to see it.” He paused. “I’ll bet you do all the time though, huh?”  
“Yes,” said Haru. “The water and the sky are the same color.” He stepped even closer to him. “Except the sky has no stars.”  
“Y-yeah,” said Rin, slightly breathless at the close proximity. “And the moon.”  
“And the moon,” Haru repeated, looking at him from under his eyelashes.  
“The water really loves you,” Rin blurted out, then mentally slapped himself. Why did he do that? The lull in conversation had prompted him to do what he’d always sworn he’d never do around Haru- say what he was really thinking. He looked away from him, his face burning the same color as his eyes in embarrassment.  
Haru stared at him for a moment, his head cocked to the side as if working something out. Suddenly his eyes widened and his lips parted slightly.  
“I know,” he replied at last. “It loves you too.” Here he paused as if summoning from deep inside his soul. “I guess I’m a lot like the water in that way.”  
Rin’s head jerked up in shock. Did he mean-? And then Haru closed the distance between them and kissed him, and Rin swore that all the stars fell into the sea.  
*******************  
It was Saturday and cloudy and quiet, and the breeze from the open window ruffled Haru’s black silky locks across his blue eyes, trained on the book in front of him. Rin glanced down at him and smiled affectionately; his head rested gently on Rin’s shoulder and their bodies created twin dips in the worn green sofa. Haru looked up suddenly and Rin quickly pretended to be reading his book again. Haru smiled, closed his own book, and climbed into Rin’s lap, thighs spread gracefully around Rin’s own. Rin grinned and set his book aside, touching his nose to Haru’s and giving him a little Eskimo kiss before pressing their lips together. Rin placed his hands on Haru’s waist and wondered how it was possible to taste the way fleece blanket felt, the way leaves fell from the trees, and the way the sea smelled all at once. Despite being lost in this train of thought, Rin distinctly heard it when Haru murmured into the kiss, “If we don’t stop this soon, you’re going to become my everything.”  
Rin broke away in shock and searched Haru’s inquisitive eyes. His eyes were wide and unblinking.  
“What did you say?” Rin asked breathlessly.  
“You…are my everything,” said Haru, looking away purposefully, his eyebrows drawn together.  
Rin laughed, deep and bubbly, and pulled Haru back in for another kiss. He whispered, blurry and warm against Haru’s lips, “Well, I’m glad to see we’re on the same page.”


End file.
